Testimony 14

The boy I was seeing at the time (KEGS Student) would coerce me into having sex with him in public places and if I said no he would threaten to never speak to me again/walk off leaving me alone/try to humiliate me publicly or to his friends.

Once he set up a camera when I was in the bathroom and videod us having sex without my consent and didn’t tell me until several months later.

He would always ask me to send him nude pictures at any time in the day and if I said I couldn’t he would threaten to break up with me and tell me that he would ask other girls instead. That way I eventually fell into the trap of feeling pressured into sending them every single time (in the same way I felt I could never say no to having sex with him)

It was only after leaving the relationship that I truly understood the impact it had on my own self worth, esteem and value. In particular, the case of him filming me during sex without my consent (now classified as a criminal offence under voyeurism) left me feeling vulnerable, lacking trust, but mostly scared that the video which I did not even consent to would re-surface.

I think it would be beneficial for the students at KEGS to learn what consent is, and not in the generic yes/no way, but also to understand the idea of sexual coercion and the use of threats to persuade someone to have sex with you and also how the discussion around consent should equally be applicable to relationships.

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