Testimony 60

A boy in the year above me during the first week of sixth form came behind me with his entire group as my friend and i were walking for lunch and kept asking me for my Snapchat and saying that he liked me. It was clearly one of those who can get the ‘ugliest’ girls snap joke due to the tone in which the entire group kept laughing as I got more and more flustered as I had no idea what was going on and felt intimidated having never experienced boys like that before. He then proceeded to laugh when I’d walk into the sixth form centre in the mornings. At one point he found a friend of mine at breaktime and asked them to ask me for my email which when he saw my friend meet me to tell me this he laughed with his group. It made me feel like I was targeted. He would also sometimes make eye contact with me across the room and make inappropriate faces or smile in a unnerving way. I found this incredibly intimidating as it was often with his group and he was older than me. I also had no idea what the joke really was so felt helpless and embarrassed to talk about it with anyone. It made me feel incredibly ugly and insecure and paranoid to walk past him for the entire year he was there so as not to add onto what was going on. This meant I often walked the long way to get around the social centre to avoid where his group sat. Three years after leaving kegs I saw him again on a night out and felt incredibly anxious when we made eye contact. The anxiety never really leaves how ever much you know it was him being silly. It may seem like banter but the pack mentality and the complete unawareness with which I was part of a joke I didn’t even know existed meant that for me it was a site of anxiety, paranoia and left me crying at home often.

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