As many other cchs girls will know, naturally we were not exposed to as many boys as those at mixed schools and this meant the kegs boys were the closest male contact many of us had- mixed prom, discos and parties. Naturally as we entered the older years we were becoming more interested in boys and entering into relationships. Obviously with no male contact within school this left many including myself, believing that kegs boys were the best option considering they were a single gendered school also. The years from year 9 to year 11 were some of the worst of my entire life leading me to seek therapy for self harm and suicidal thoughts which were not addressed by either school despite the multiple occasions I brought these matters forward.
My experience started in year 9 (2015) when I started ‘dating’ a boy who was considered the popular one in our year group. I’d heard bad things about this boy in particular but I was just happy that someone considered so popular could be interested in me and as a girl growing up with very low self esteem this made me feel great about myself and decided to pursue it anyway. When he broke up with me a number of weeks later I found out he had in fact been entertaining me as a date with his friends and of course this really affected me. This one boys influence and power over a whole year of boys (and girls) aswell meant I was slut-shamed and bullied for 3 years after. When I dared to speak up about this I was told that my story meant nothing and was called out multiple times to commit suicide and that I was worth nothing on this planet. People told me that this behaviour was entirely normal within the kegs community and there was nothing I could ever do about it. Now the stuff that happened after this is a lot worse and at this time it’s more than I wish to share as I’m still dealing with it myself and at some point I will share it but for now this is enough. I spent three years hating myself, being talked about and shamed for being a young girl who was just growing up and figuring herself out. When the kegs boys dated people it was seen as a successful conquest- a notch on the bedpost- but as soon as it came to the cchs girls we were “disgusting”, “sl*ts”, “wh*res”. Many of us who were labelled like this never slept with anyone- me included- but even if others had, it didn’t mean by expressing their own sexual desire they were any less of a human being than they were. The trauma of what happened left me unable to build strong bonds with anyone for a very long time and it still affects me in friendships and relationships for fear of the same treatment I received back then. In fact I was sent a message recently from a former kegs boy telling me I was still loathed and it just shows how in six years nothing has changed and in all honestly I can’t see it ever changing.
Now compared to many on here my story is absolutely nothing but it’s still important to speak up and if you are reading this wondering whether to speak up about your experience too then please do it- you are important. I’m appalled that a school that prides itself on being a supplier of the country’s next leaders, powerful businessmen and gifted people.. people who are meant to be amazing enough to run our country and keep us safe is also a place so filled with misogyny, assault and the attitude that the rules don’t apply to them- that they can abuse and take whatever they want.