Testimony 98

As a CCHS girl and a CCF girl, I’ve been in contact with many KEGS boys over the years and many of my friends went there from CCHS for the sixth form so I’ve become accustomed to the pervasive rape culture that’s being upheld by the school. My experiences, I can’t lie, I still sometimes doubt whether there was anything wrong with them because of how indoctrinated victim blaming is and how conditioned I’ve been to feel that I have no autonomy. Even as I write this, I doubt that I have anything to complain about and I deny that these boys did anything wrong. I was 12 when a boy began following me from the train station to school. To give context, I walked a different way to school than everyone else, the only reason is that my friend used to walk that way and she was the first person I made friends with travelling to school so even when she stopped getting the train, I still walked that way because I liked it and I liked being alone because the walk was quicker without all the people. So it was very noticeable when he started following me because no one literally no other person would be around when I walked this way. To prove my point, the first time he followed me, I even asked him what he was doing and if he even knew where he was going. He told me yes of course and made it seem ludicrous for me to even suggest that he was following me so I told him to prove it and walk ahead of me. This quickly showed that he had no idea where he was going. He continued to follow me for around 6 months. For perspective, I had a German exchange a few months through this and even she noticed that we were being followed to school and when she asked me about it I just said that that was what this boy did. It felt so normal to me and not at all an issue to do with being a woman, just being a person. During this time, his friends would refer to me on social media platforms and in person as this boys ‘girl’ and would shout this after me on the street. They would also post on their stories pictures of him looking out the window and say that he was looking for me. His friends would message me on instagram describing how he wanted to fuck me and talk graphically about his penis.

This boy also had a reputation of asking every girl in the year to send nudes at 12 years old.

Skip foward to when I was around 14, I had become a part of a friendship group with kegs boys and CCHS girls and one of these boys had a strange relationship with me. He kept an album of pictures of me which his friends referred to as his spank bank on his phone despite me many times asking him to delete it. He would make videos compiling pictures of me that I hadn’t realised he’d kept or screenshotted. He even went to far as to make a social media page dedicated to posting embarrassing photos and videos of me despite me so many times sincerely asking him to take it down. I’ve had all of my friends to report it and have reported it to Facebook with my ID to prove that the account is about me but not by me. This has done nothing and the page is still there. His friends would frequently admit that this boy had a perverse obsession with me. When I was 16 I went to a party and he touched me inappropriately. He kept putting his hands in my shirt and touching my breasts and down my pants and touching me there even though I kept removing his hands and pushing him off me. He wouldn’t stop so I kept moving away from him and nearer other people. He tried making out with me and I continued to push him away. Nobody intervened or made it seem like anything abnormal I even went away with a guy friend just to get away from him but he continued to follow us and touch me. The guy friend later disclosed to a friend that he had only ‘protected’ me becuase he thought we were going to hook up. I even later dated him because the ‘protection’ complex really messed with my head and made me feel like I had to show him gratitude for keeping me away from the other boy.

Everyone in the group treated it like it was normal and there was nothing wrong with the behaviour that I only started thinking it was wrong after a friend pointed it out to me.

A few months after this party there was another one in which [second-hand part of testimony redacted to protect the other survivor]. He had previously gaslit me and later admitted it when he was drunk a year later, so the gaslighting was distinctly false. At a later date he [second-hand part of testimony redacted to protect the other survivor]. I believe that this boys sexual obsession is rooted in violence as we once had a physical confrontation after I asked him to stop following me around at a party. We had to be separated by another boy and I walked away with bruises. People at the party said that they were afraid to leave me with him at the end of the evening because of what they thought he might do to me. It was a noticeable dynamic for a long time. One night he also badgered me repeatedly for nudes sending so many messages asking for them and then tried to make it seem like a joke and make me feel like I was misinterpreting the situation. The incessant messaging and calling to get in touch with me until I replied was a recurring theme. Other times by KEGS boys I have been: made out with against my will, had another one wait until I was asleep at a party before touching me all over my body, another asked to have a threesome with me and my sister and then made derogatory comments about us. Another blamed me repeatedly for ‘not realising the effect that I have on other people’ after I had rejected a boy in my year, essentially blaming me for unwanted male attention. Another grabbed my butt against my will walking down a street and then lied about it. I honestly didn’t know what to do in the situation so I just kept walking and continued the conversation. This collection of experiences are still what I consider minor in the grand scheme of things. I’ve had friends who have been raped, assaulted, stalked, harassed, I honestly feel lucky that I’ve ‘only’ had these experiences. It is the culture at KEGS that needs to change, and possible the teachers, they have failed too many students to earn the title of educators.

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